And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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