I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
