THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
