shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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