hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
