my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
