I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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