My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
