dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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