I accidentally burped into my bong.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
