I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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