This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
