Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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