there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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