I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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