He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
