We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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