Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
