hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
