dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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