Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
