so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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