My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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