I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
