So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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