Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
