He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
