Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
