well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
