Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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