Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now

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(208): View more from Idaho

Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.

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(407): View more from Florida

I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"

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(928): View more from Arizona

If this party got busted it would be an improvement

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.

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(518): View more from New York

I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.

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(936): View more from Texas

Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.

(936): View more from Texas

Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!

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