WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
