Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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