Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
