Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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