It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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