On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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