You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
