I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They took my balls.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
