she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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