hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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