Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
