I CAN MOONWALK!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
