You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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