I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
