if you like me you must not know who I am
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
