I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
