I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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