Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
