whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
